“What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life–to strengthen each other in all labour, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?” –George Eliot

Love.

A simple word, but a not-so-simple feeling.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary has many definitions for this word, because it can mean so many different things.  One of the definitions, my favorite, defines love as “warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion,” doesn’t that sound nice?

Love in today’s society is so much different than it used to be.  Where there was once a clear sequence of events for dating, we are now more often than not swimming in pools of confusion.  Today, there is so much texting, “hanging out,” and less communication, so finding the person you want to do life with can be discouraging.  So, I’m here to let you know some dating tips that, in my experience, can help make the process a little easier.

1) Actually asking on date… IN PERSON.
Terrifying, I know, but so worth it.  Being someone who absolutely hates confrontation, just thinking about this is enough for me to want to be single forever.  However, this is the best way to go about it.  You don’t get the same satisfaction texting someone as you do in personally asking.  When you ask in person, you can see their initial reaction—the big smile that normally accompanies this request usually initiates the excitement for the upcoming date.  Now, there is a chance the answer will be no, and rejection is never fun, but if you are talking face-to-face, you can actually see if the person is into you, whereas in a text you get nothing.

2) Put the phone away.
It is very rare to find someone who doesn’t have a cell phone.  That being said, when you are on a date, put it away.  I went on a date with a guy who sat on his phone the whole time we were at dinner—even though I was talking to him.  Maybe I’m really boring, I don’t know, but it is just plain rude.  If you are out on a date, the goal is to get to know the person, and that is really difficult if you are both sitting and staring at your phone screens.

3) Make sincere compliments.
Everyone wants to feel special.  There was a guy that I went on a date with who did not give me one compliment the entire night…but he did talk about how hot one of the girls in the restaurant was (ouch).  On the other side, I went on a date with someone else and the minute my he saw me he told me how beautiful I looked, which led to a very great date.  It doesn’t matter what compliment you give, as long as you are sincere in what you are saying (because it is easy to tell when you aren’t) your date will appreciate it.

4) Say what you feel.
Say what you mean and don’t hide your emotions.  There is nothing cool or attractive about playing hard to get or being purposefully emotionally unavailable.  If you love someone, tell them.  If you just aren’t ready for the commitment or aren’t feeling connected to someone, let them know.  There is nothing worse than thinking everything is fine and everyone is happy when that isn’t the case.  Plus, feelings have a way of coming out, so make sure you are the one to tell your significant other so they don’t have to go through the uncomfortable encounter of hearing it from someone else.  Whether they find out you love them or hate them, it is weird and confusing learning this intimate information from a third party—so be the one to share the news.

Dating is messy and love can be hard, but it is so worth the effort.  Spending the rest of your life with someone can sound a little scary, and going through the process to find the person you want to share the good and the bad with can be scary, but the result will lead to a happier life—a life filled with love.